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This is just a note to let you know that this is my journal. I say things here that I might not say out loud to friends or family. I don't expect anyone to respond althought it is nice. I myself don't always have time to read or respond to my friends blogs. If you want to comment on something that you read, please us the Chatter at me? link. I will definitely see that where I might not see it in your blog. I try to do the same for others that have such links. Hugs and kisses to you all. Jen C
I promise I am not a procrastinator. I just don't want to do it right now!   
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Tuesday, October 9I am having a better day. I got distracted when my husband came home on Sunday. Lets see. I was crying over the funeral procession and the war. I got the lamp and some pick me up chocolate :). I got home, and the lamp wasn't as tall as I wanted, but it will work for now. The kids were driving me nuts because they had colds and weren't feeling good and wanted to be held. Darren said that he was going to be home by 5. I told him that if he was late that I wouldn't worry. Sometimes you can forget time when you are at the farm. I get a phone call at about 6:15 from Dave. He is Darren's boss at the Guard. He wanted Darren to come in the next day (Monday). I am just the wife. I am not told anything, even if I ask, so I just said that I would give Darren the message and we hung up. I went into a full blown panic. I know, I know, but I have never had to deal with anything remotely like this before and it scared me. I called my neighbor (Debbie) who is one of the best friends I have, and she came over and we talked as I am feverishly cleaning up my house. I clean when I am upset. I finally calmed down and decided to wait to panic after Darren had talked to his boss. I also decided not let Darren know what was going on with me. I wanted to be strong for him, ya know? Anyway, he called Dave back and was told that since it was a holiday for the government, that a lot of people were gone and they needed to get some planes out. So they were calling in people to just help for that day. So he went and worked and they worked him hard. He didn't get home til after 7. We talked and there is a chance that he will have to go somewhere for 60 days. But... He would almost definitely be here in the US.So I am not as panicked as I was. LOL, now I can panic over the prospect of having to take care of 3 very lively boys for 2 months by myself!! posted by Jen C on 11:30 AM | link | Chatter at me?
Cyndi, you are a genius. I am definitely going to try that with my Austin. I am willing to try just about anything. posted by Jen C on 11:17 AM | link | Chatter at me?
 Sunday, October 7My day: I am going to be very methodical about this or I will loose it. Yesterday we went to several places looking for floor lamps. Never did find one. My neighbor is my shopping consultant. She goes everywhere and sees lots of different things, so if I can't find something she usually knows where to point me. So I call her and ask her to be on the lookout for me. Darren and I trade off days on the weekend. He gets to sleep in one, and I get to sleep in the other. So she jokingly asks if I want her to call me in the am before church if she remembers any stores with lamps. We kid back and forth about it and I tell her no that I want to sleep. Well I had also told my mother that I was looking for them, so she was looking for them for me too. So who calls me this am at 7:30 on my day to sleep in? My mother. I forgot to tell her that it was my day to sleep in. Oh well. I did get to go back to sleep for about another hour.So I get up and look at the paper and there is the ad for lamps. Darren is going to his parents with Justin today because his dads pond has a leak they need to fix. Justin is the only one without a cold. My neighbor Debbie wanted to go and get an early Christmas present for her kids and wanted to know if she could leave her kids at home and me check in on them. No prob. She got home and watched my kids while they napped so that I could go get the lamp so it all worked out. Little fact about me. If I don't like something, I won't remember it. I really don't like what happened on the 11th so I have kinda put it in the back of my mind and not thought on it a whole lot. But there are moments when it just really hits me hard. So I am on the way to the store, and my favorite radio station is not playing songs. It is one of those Clear Channel Relief things. So whenever a news breakthrough comes in, it switches to news. So all I am hearing is that we launched our first attack on Afghanistan today. And they went on and on about it and there was this reporter actually there and she was telling what was going on from her perspective and it really hit me that we are at war! And then a funeral procession goes by. I don't know about elsewhere, but here in Tennessee if a funeral procession is going by, I don't care if it is across a median in the road, you pull over until the entire thing has passed. So here I am sitting on the side of the road listening to news from the warfront and watching a funeral procession go by with flags waving all over the place. I just started crying. It was one of those moments that everything becomes very real to me. posted by Jen C on 7:51 PM | link | Chatter at me?
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